)_
"McDonald's Vinegar Bitters!"
ST. JOHN:
What are they?
PITTS-STEVENS:
A woman suffering from widowhood
Took a full bottle and was cured. A man
There was--a murderer; the doctors all
Had given him up--he'd but an hour to live.
He swallowed half a glassful. He is dead,
But not of Vinegar Bitters. A wee babe
Lay sick and cried for it. The mother gave
That innocent a spoonful and it smoothed
Its pathway to the tomb. 'Tis warranted
To cause a boy to strike his father, make
A pig squeal, start the hair upon a stone,
Or play the fiddle for a country dance.
_(Enter McDonald, reading a Sunday-school book.)_
Good morrow, sir; I trust you're well.
MCDONALD:
H'lo, Pitts!
Observe, good friends, I have a volume here
Myself am author of--a noble book
To train the infant mind (delightful task!)
It tells how one Samantha Brown, age, six,
A gutter-bunking slave to rum, was saved
By Vinegar Bitters, went to church and now
Has an account at the Pacific Bank.
I'll read the whole work to you.
ST JOHN:
Heaven forbid!
I've elsewhere an engagement.
PITTS-STEVENS:
I am deaf.
MCDONALD _(reading regardless):_
"Once on a time there lived"----
_(Enter Mrs.
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