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Bierce, Ambrose, 1842-1914?

"Black Beetles in Amber"


"My plats of surveys are all false, they say,
But that cannot greatly matter
To me, for I'll tell the jurors that they
May lick, if they please, my platter."


ARBORICULTURE
[Californians are asking themselves how Joaquin Miller will
make the trees grow which he proposes to plant in the form of
a Maltese cross on Goat Island, in San Francisco Bay.--_New
York Graphic_.]

You may say they won't grow, and say they'll decay--
Say it again till you're sick of the say,
Get up on your ear, blow your blaring bazoo
And hire a hall to proclaim it; and you
May stand on a stump with a lifted hand
As a pine may stand or a redwood stand,
And stick to your story and cheek it through.
But I point with pride to the far divide
Where the Snake from its groves is seen to glide--
To Mariposa's arboreal suit,
And the shaggy shoulders of Shasta Butte,
And the feathered firs of Siskiyou;
And I swear as I sit on my marvelous hair--
I roll my marvelous eyes and swear,
And sneer, and ask where would your forests be
To-day if it hadn't been for me!
Then I rise tip-toe, with a brow of brass,
Like a bully boy with an eye of glass;
I look at my gum sprouts, red and blue,
And I say it loud and I say it low:
"They know their man and you bet they'll grow!"


A SILURIAN HOLIDAY

'Tis Master Fitch, the editor;
He takes an holiday.


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