Nugent's first words to me were these:-- "
'Oscar, I have come to ask your pardon, and to bid you good-bye.'
"I can give you no idea of the tone in which he spoke to me: it would
have gone straight to your heart, as it went straight to mine. For the
moment, I was not able to answer him. I could only offer him my hand. He
sighed bitterly, and refused to take it.
" 'I have something still to tell you,' he said. 'Wait till you have
heard it; and give me your hand afterwards--if you can.'
"He even refused to take the chair to which I pointed. He distressed me
by standing in my presence as if he was my inferior. The next words that
he said to me--
"No! I have need of all my calmness and all my courage. It shakes both to
recall what he said to me. I sat down to write this, intending to repeat
to you everything that passed between us. Another of my weaknesses!
another of my failures! The tears come into my eyes again, when my mind
attempts to dwell on the details. I can only tell you the result. My
brother's confession may be summed up in three words. Prepare yourself to
be startled; prepare yourself to be grieved.
"Nugent loves her.
"Think of this discovery falling on me, after I had seen my innocent
Lucilla's arms round his neck--after my own eyes had shown me how she
rejoiced over her first sight of _him;_ how she shuddered at her first
sight of _me!_ Need I tell you what I suffered? No.
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