"
So he spoke to Legouve; and he sat down on a stone in a Paris street,
and wept. In the meantime, the old lady did not understand this
foolishness; she hardly tolerated it, and sought to undeceive him.
[Footnote 47: _Memoires_, II, 396.]
"When one's hair is white one must leave dreams--even those of
friendship.... Of what use is it to form ties which, though they
hold to-day, may break to-morrow?"
What were his dreams? To live with her? No; rather to die beside her; to
feel she was by his side when death should come.
"To be at your feet, my head on your knees, your two hands in
mine--so to finish."[48]
He was a little child grown old, and felt bewildered and miserable and
frightened before the thought of death.
Wagner, at the same age, a victor, worshipped, flattered, and--if we are
to believe the Bayreuth legend--crowned with prosperity; Wagner, sad and
suffering, doubting his achievements, feeling the inanity of his bitter
fight against the mediocrity of the world, had "fled far from the
world"[49] and thrown himself into religion; and when a friend looked at
him in surprise as he was saying grace at table, he answered: "Yes, I
believe in my Saviour.
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