At the time when his wife's health was causing him most anxiety, there
came to him one night an inspiration for a symphony. The first part of
it--an allegro in two-four time in A minor--was ringing in his head. He
got up and began to write, and then he thought,
"If I begin this bit, I shall have to write the whole symphony. It
will be a big thing, and I shall have to spend three or four months
over it. That means I shall write no more articles and earn no
money. And when the symphony is finished I shall not be able to
resist the temptation of having it copied (which will mean an
expense of a thousand or twelve hundred francs), and then of having
it played. I shall give a concert, and the receipts will barely
cover half the cost. I shall lose what I have not got; the poor
invalid will lack necessities; and I shall be able to pay neither
my personal expenses nor my son's fees when he goes on board
ship.... These thoughts made me shudder, and I threw down my pen,
saying, 'Bah! to-morrow I shall have forgotten the symphony.' The
next night I heard the allegro clearly, and seemed to see it
written down.
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