In that large house there was no human inmate save myself, and I had an
attack of nervousness upon me for which I found it impossible to
account. Here was I, at length, under the very roof where my mistress
had passed all her childish days, bound to solve the mystery which was
making such havoc with her young life, permitted to essay a task, the
accomplishment of which should cover me with glory, and perhaps restore
peace and happiness to her heart; and yet I was _afraid_. I did not
hesitate to utter that word to my own soul then, any more than I
hesitate to write it now for those who list to read: for I can truly say
I think there are few men whose courage such an adventure would not try
were they to attempt it; and I am sure, had any one of those to whom I
tell this story been half as much afraid as I, he would have left River
Hall there and then, and allowed the ghosts said to be resident, to
haunt it undisturbed for evermore.
If I could only have kept memory from running here and there in quest of
evidence pro and con the house being haunted, I should have fared
better: but I could not do this.
Let me try as I would to give my attention to those legal studies that
ought to have engrossed my attention, I could not succeed in doing so:
my thoughts, without any volition on my part, kept continually on the
move; now with Miss Blake in Buckingham Street, again with Colonel
Morris on the river walk, once more with Miss Elmsdale in the library;
and went constantly flitting hither and thither, recalling the
experiences of a frightened lad, or the terror of an ignorant woman; yet
withal I had a feeling that in some way memory was playing me false, as
if, when ostentatiously bringing out all her stores for me to make or
mar as I could, she had really hidden away, in one of her remotest
corners, some link, great or little as the case might be, but still,
whether great or little, necessary to connect the unsatisfactory
narratives together.
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