It is a little different, now, to be sure, as the
men ship for general service, and commonly serve a short apprenticeship in
a receiving vessel, before they are turned over to the sea-going craft.
This brings them on board the last in a little better condition than used
to be the case; but, even now, six months in a man-of-war is a new lease
for a seaman's life.
I say I got myself into disgrace in the hospital of Pensacola, in
consequence of my habit of drinking. The facts were as follows, for I have
no desire to conceal, or to parade before the world, my own delinquencies;
but, I confess them with the hope that the pictures they present, may have
some salutary influence on the conduct of others. The doctor, who was
steadily my friend, and often gave me excellent advice, went north, in
order to bring his wife to Pensacola. I was considered entitled to a
pension for the hurt which had brought me into the hospital, and the
doctor had promised to see something about it, while at Washington. This
was not done, in consequence of his not passing through Washington, as had
been expected. Now, nature has so formed me, that any disgust, or
disappointment, makes me reckless, and awakens a desire to revenge myself,
on myself, as I may say. It was this feeling which first carried me from
Halifax; it was this feeling that made me run from the Sterling; and which
has often changed and sometimes marred my prospects, as I have passed
through life.
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