Heizer soon learned
this; and, watching me, discovered the propensity I still retained for the
sea. He and Mrs. Heizer now took me aside, and endeavoured to persuade me
to return to Halifax; but I had become more and more averse to taking this
backward step. To own the truth, I had fearful misgivings on the subject
of floggings; and I dreaded a long course of severity and discipline. It
is certain, that, while rigid rules of conduct are very necessary to some
dispositions, there are others with which they do not succeed. Mine was of
the latter class; for, I think, I am more easily led, than driven. At all
events, I had a horror of going back; and refused to listen to the
proposal. After a good deal of conversation, and many efforts at
persuasion, Dr. Heizer consented to let me go to sea, from New York; or
affected to consent; I never knew which.
The Leander, Miranda's flag-ship, in his abortive attempt to create a
revolution in Spanish-America, was then lying in the Hudson; and Dr.
Heizer, who was acquainted with some one connected with her, placed me in
this ship, with the understanding I was to go in her to Holland. I passed
the day on board; going up to my new employer's house, for my meals, and
to sleep. This course of life may have lasted a fortnight; when I became
heartily tired of it. I found I had a mistress, now, as well as a master.
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