If she
ever asked him to do anything for her, he would be so overjoyed that he
would overdo it; and then she would tell him not to be so stupid, but to
get on with his lessons.
The cramped atmosphere of neglect in his aunt's house oppressed Phatik
so much that he felt that he could hardly breathe. He wanted to go out
into the open country and fill his lungs and breathe freely. But there
was no open country to go to. Surrounded on all sides by Calcutta houses
and walls, be would dream night after night of his village home, and
long to be back there. He remembered the glorious meadow where he used
to By his kite all day long; the broad river-banks where he would wander
about the livelong day singing and shouting for joy; the narrow
brook where he could go and dive and swim at any time he liked. He
thought of his band of boy companions over whom he was despot; and,
above all, the memory of that tyrant mother of his, who had such a
prejudice against him, occupied him day and night. A kind of physical
love like that of animals; a longing to be in the presence of the one
who is loved; an inexpressible wistfulness during absence; a silent cry
of the inmost heart for the mother, like the lowing of a calf in the
twilight;-this love, which was almost an animal instinct, agitated the
shy, nervous, lean, uncouth and ugly boy.
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