On one occasion an English gentleman at Charleston, with whom I
became acquainted, and whose hospitality I shall never forget, when
conversing on the subject, addressed me thus: "Good, active wives are
seldom to be met with in this state, amongst the natives; I may say,
hardly ever; the females are nurtured in indolence, and in seeking what
they term a settlement, look more to the man's means than the likelihood
of living happily with him. There is no disguising it--the
considera--with them is a _sine qua non_. Few girls would refuse a man
who possessed a goodly number of slaves, though they were sure his
affections would be shared by some of the best-looking of the females
amongst them, and his conduct towards the remainder that of a very
demon." These sentiments I very soon ascertained to be in no way
libellous. A southern wife, if she is prodigally furnished with dollars
to "go shopping," apparently considers it no drawback to her happiness
if some brilliant mulatto or quadroon woman ensnares her husband. Of
course there are exceptions, but the patriarchal usage is so engrafted
in society there, that it elicits little notice or comment.
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