Her conclusion was that Daniel did
not love her enough; and she said that her own feeling was not
sufficiently strong to endure such exactions; even if Clerambault
had been willing to yield, she would not have consented to such an
injustice; whereupon she kissed her father, tried to laugh bravely,
and to forget her cruel disappointment.
A glimpse of happiness, however, is not so easily forgotten,
especially if there remains a faint chance of its renewal. She thought
of it constantly, and after a time Clerambault felt that she was
growing away from him. It is difficult not to feel bitterly towards
those for whom we sacrifice ourselves, and in spite of herself Rosine
held her father responsible for her lost happiness.
A strange phenomenon now made itself apparent in Clerambault's mind;
he was cast down but strengthened at the same time. He suffered
because he had spoken, and yet he felt that he should speak again,
for he had ceased to belong to himself. His written word held and
constrained him; he was bound by his thought as soon as it was
published. "That which the fountain sends forth returns again to the
fountain." Born in an hour of mental exaltation, his work prolonged
and reproduced itself in his mind, which would otherwise have fallen
exhausted.
Pages:
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181