And yet how dearly
am I to pay for a few gratifications which were in fact no better than
specious allurements to destruction, and flowers that slightly covered
the pit of ruin! In the bloom of manhood, in the full career of youth to
be cast forth an UNPITIED, NECESSITOUS, MISERABLE VAGABOND! All but this
I could have borne without a sigh. Were I threatened with death, in this
opening scene of life, I could submit with cheerfulness. But to drag
along a protracted misery, to be shut out from hope, and yet ever awake
to every cruel reflection and every bitter remorse--This is too much!"
From this dream of unmanly lamentations Roderic was with difficulty
recovered by the assiduities of the attendants. At length incited by
their expostulations to the collectedness of reflection and the
fortitude of exertion, he determined, with that quickness of invention
with which he had been endowed at his birth, upon a plan to elude, if
possible, the perseverance of Edwin, and the menaces of his fate.
Recollecting that his person was not unknown to the swain, he
communicated his instructions to those who were about him, and withdrew
himself into a private apartment.
It was Edwin. The instructions of the Druid of Elwy had relieved him
from the insupportable burden that had begun to oppress his mind.
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