But was this a time for applauses
so seducing? How greatly have they perplexed, and how deeply distressed
me! In what manner, alas! are they to be obeyed, and what am I to think
of the professions of my ravisher? But, no; I dare not permit my purpose
to be thus suspended. My danger here is too imminent. The deliverance of
my own honour and the felicity of my parents are motives too sacred, not
to annihilate every ambiguity and every doubt. Oh, that I could escape
at once! Oh, that like the tender bird, that hops before me in my path,
I could flit away along the trackless air! Why should the little birds
that carol among the trees be the only beings in the domains of Roderic,
that know the sweets of liberty? But it will not be. Still, still I am
under the eye and guardianship of heaven. Wise are the ways of heaven,
and I submit myself with reverence. Only do ye, propitious Gods,
support, sustain, deliver me! Never was frail and trembling mortal less
prepared to encounter with machination, and to brave unheard of dangers.
How fearful are those I have already encountered; and how much have I to
apprehend from what may yet remain! But if I am weak, the omnipotent
support to which I look is strong. I will not give way to impious
despondence.
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