. . . . It is only once in
a while that the image and desire of a better and happier life makes me
feel the iron of my chain; for, after all, a human spirit may find no
insufficiency of food fit for it, even in the Custom-House. And, with
such materials as these, I do think and feel and learn things that are
worth knowing, and which I should not know unless I had learned them
there, so that the present portion of my life shall not be quite left out
of the sum of my real existence. . . . . It is good for me, on many
accounts, that my life has had this passage in it. I know much more than
I did a year ago. I have a stronger sense of power to act as a man among
men. I have gained worldly wisdom, and wisdom also that is not
altogether of this world. And, when I quit this earthly cavern where I
am now buried, nothing will cling to me that ought to be left behind.
Men will not perceive, I trust, by my look, or the tenor of my thoughts
and feelings, that I have been a custom-house officer.
April 7th.--It appears to me to have been the most uncomfortable day that
ever was inflicted on poor mortals.
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