She is too old for him to love her. He can only have married
her for her wealth and her name.' Thus they might have spoken of the
youth, of the hero I loved and adored, and for whom I would gladly
have sacrificed my life."
"And to whom you were yet so cruel, Sitta Nefysseh; to whom you
caused so much suffering! For I have suffered, Sitta Nefysseh. It
was my heaven to be in your presence, to see you. I adored you, and
yet you refused to listen to me. But let me be silent. Speak on, oh,
speak on of my happiness! Tell me again that you love me, Nefysseh;
I cannot believe it--it cannot be!"
"And yet it is so, Youssouf, and long have I loved you. You know not
of the long, sleepless nights I have passed in my solitary chamber,
my hands folded in prayer to Allah for strength and firmness. You
know not how often, in the still night, I have stretched out my arms
toward you, and pronounced your name with passionate longing,
entreating the welis to bear you to me in their gentle arms. Yet,
with the day came cold, calm reason, exhorting Mourad's widow to be
firm and proud. And, alas! I was firm. You knew not what it cost me.
Then, Youssouf, a new period came. The beys Bardissi and L'Elfi
addressed me, covetous not only of the possession of the woman, but
also of her wealth. From that hour I knew that danger threatened
you, for the Mameluke beys are fierce and cruel; and, if they had
known of my affection for you, my beloved, you would have been lost.
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